The Comic Book Chick

Holiday Gift Guide - Gifts under $50!

2009-12-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

I have not fallen off the face of the planet, FYI. I've just been drowning in finals this week and will be until next Wednesday. You would think being an English Lit. major lets you avoid the chaotic testing, but no. They simply make-up for it with paper after paper after paper. I love to write, but only when it's what I want to write about..like THIS~!

The first installment of three, this is your place to find the best gifts for your Special Little Nerd. I've done my share of scouring and discovered some of the neatest, most interesting ideas that will assure you a trip to the Batcave after things are all said and done ;)

BATMAN BLACK CHROME BELT BUCKLE

For All Batman Fans!
Fits All Belts that are 1.5 inches Wide!
Measures 4.5" X 3"
Two Piece Durable Metal Construction!

Price: $8.95
Buy it Here.

Simple. Cheap. Perfect.

Toddler Boys' 2-piece Justice League Pajama Set

Sizes: 2T, 3T, 4T

Price: $10.00
Buy It Here.

Perfect if you want to get your child something practical yet fun. Made of 100% polyester, it's machine-washable and adorable.

Warner Brothers Supergirl Large Pink Backpack

By WB

Price: $19.99
Buy It Here.

As a female, I understand just how hard it is to find something that I can wear without making it obvious that it's meant for boys. This is one of the those gifts. After all, you'd have to wonder if you saw a boy walking around school with this strapped to his back :) Besides being awesomely pink, it's also not going to be GIANT, as we know most backpacks for kids are prone to being. Comes with a compartment for your water bottle as well.

X-Force/Cable: Messiah War

Hardcover Graphic Novel
ISBN-10: 0785131574

Price: $39.99 $26.39
Buy It Here.

Synopsis:
It's the exciting sequel to 2007's Messiah Complex! Cyclops has complete faith that his son, Cable, will do everything he can to protect the so-called mutant messiah - who he believes will save mutantkind. But he also knows what havoc former X-Man Lucas Bishop has wreaked in the nightmarish future. So now he's sent his black ops team, the X-Force, on a risky, time-traveling mission to save Cable and the child, completely unaware that there's something else waiting for them in the future. Something not even Bishop was counting on... Collects Cable #13-15, X-Force #14-16, and Messiah War one-shot.

Wonder Woman 2009

Starring: Keri Russell Rating: PG-13
Studio: Warner Home Video
Run Time: 74 minutes
ASIN: B001LK8SQ6

Price: $29.98 $17.48
Buy it Here.

Synopsis:
On the mystical island of Themyscira, a proud and fierce warrior race of Amazons have raised a daughter of untold beauty, grace and strength Princess Diana. When an Army fighter pilot, Steve Trevor, crash-lands on the island, the rebellious and headstrong Diana defies Amazonian law by accompanying Trevor back to civilization. Meanwhile, Ares (the god of War) has escaped his imprisonment at the hands of the Amazonians and has decided to exact his revenge - intending to start a world war that will not only last for centuries but will wipe out every living being on the planet, starting with the Amazons! It is up to Princess Diana to save her people and the world by using her gifts and becoming the ultimate Wonder Woman!

This was one of those movies that took everyone by surprise. When Warnos Bros. quietly purchased DC, no one had any idea of what kind of calamities where going to occur. After pretty much months of nothing really new and great making the news, we pretty much breathed a sigh. But when this hit the shelves, we once again held our breaths. Thankfully, this movie held its own, and even set the bar for the series of DC Animated movies to come. Not only does this make a great or stocking stuffer, but it will keep the kids occupied with all its extra features long enough that you can rest your feet :)

Batman: Battle for the Cowl

Hardcover Graphic Novel
ISBN-10: 1401224164
Price: $19.99 $13.59

Synopsis:
"Batman: R.I.P." and FINAL CRISIS saw the end of Batman. Now, months following the disappearance of her protector, Gotham City sits at a precipice and it may be too far gone for Nightwing, Robin, Commissioner Gordon and the rest of the city's heroes to save the day. Amid the fires, rioting, looting and gang warfare, one question rings out from the souls of Gotham's desperate citizens: Where is Batman?

With guest-stars galore, the destruction of a sacred Gotham City institution and an ending that will have everyone talking, this event written and drawn by Tony Daniel (The Tenth) and other top creators features the battle to take on the Mantle of the Bat. Who has earned the right? Who thinks they deserve it? Robin? Nightwing? Jason Todd? Two-Face? Catwoman? Batgirl? Who will ultimately win the BATTLE FOR THE COWL?

Spider-Man® Die Cast Statue

Price: $44.99 $40.49
Buy It Here.

Weaving his web. Add to your collection with this Marvel Comics Spider-Man die cast statue

Collect the 1/12 scale statue of Spider-Man from Marvel Comics for imaginative enjoyment.
Attached display base is perfect for show.
Limited edition increases the figure's value over time.
Durable die cast construction ensures long-lasting use.
Details:
- Online exclusive
- 14"H x 12"W x 8"D
- Ages 14 years & up
- Manufacturer’s 90-day limited warranty
- Model no. US59302
- Certain promotions and price discounts may not apply to this Web-exclusive item.

Marvel Black Widow Bishoujo Statue

Price: $55.99 $44.99
Buy It Here.

The Story:
A KOTOBUKIYA Japanese import! Continuing the series of Marvel Comics superheroines presented in the Japanese Bishoujo (pretty girl) style is BLACK WIDOW, the beautiful Russian super-spy and member of the Mighty Avengers. This original design has been specially created by the incomparable illustrator Shunya Yamashita! Fans should be familiar with Yamashita-sensei's style as Japan's leading Bishoujo artist, from his art books, video game work, as well as multiple figural collaborations with Kotobukiya. Deadly and dangerous, Black Widow wears a skin-tight bodysuit that leaves little to the imagination. The shiny black outfit accentuates every curve and the long lines of her legs, which end with stiletto heeled boots. Hugging Natasha Romanoff's waist is a stylish belt adorned with her red hourglass symbol, and on her arms are golden wristbands. As the sexy spy whips around to look behind her with a pistol at the ready, her intricately carved hair floats in the air behind her. Black Widow stands provocatively atop a specially-designed base. Black Widow stands 7 3/5 inches tall (1/8 scale), and features a solid construction of PVC and ABS plastics. Sculpted by Yu Ishii, the super-spy comes packaged in an attention-grabbing window box.

The Batman Vault: A Museum-in-a-Book with Rare Collectibles from the Batcave

Product Details
Pub. Date: October 2009
ISBN: 0762436638

Price: $49.95
Buy It Here.

"Jump in the Batmobile and get ready for a wild ride—this is a complete and in-depth look at the development of America's most popular super hero. From his vigilante days to his television stardom, from Dark Knight to mentor, this memorabilia- and anecdote-packed collection follows the masked man on his crime-fighting career, and charts the history of the comics and movies that bear his name.

How can one man be at times so vengeful, compassionate, determined, inspirational, and a true hero when he doesn’t possess special powers? Over the decades since his first appearance in the 1939, Batman and his alter-ego Bruce Wayne have thrilled readers with their adventures, close calls, dramatic storylines, and even death! Ultimately, the history of Batman is the history of America from the twentieth century to today.

With removable artifacts and never-before-seen sketches, notes, and plans, The Batman Vault is the perfect gift for the genuine fan of all ages."

These are just a few ideas. If you want something a little more unique, then feel free to e-mail me with any questions. There are countless statues, action figures, graphic novels, and accessories that have come out in the last year. If you're really not sure what you can get, then don't worry, I've got two more posts to come this weekend with even more information.

And look for me this Friday as a guest on "I Have Issues." I've giving you a few short, easy-to-come-by gifts. Thanks!!!

-TCBC

Comics' own Secret Invasion: Women - Part One

2009-11-30T00:05:00.000-07:00

After doing my daily scope of Newsarama, I came upon an article that [obviously] drew my attention, Fangirl Invasion pt. 1 - The Changing Face (and Sex) of Fandom, namely because, being female, I wanted to hear what their [males] excuse for it was. Aside from a few strange connections they make between the influx of the fairer sex and the interest in most anything geek, I found it a bit forced.

First, let me clear something up about women and comic books: rarely, if ever, is a woman attracted to comic books for the same reason as a man. That being said, I think I need to point out that this supposed "invasion" is in directly proportional to the amount of interest Hollywood takes into the Geek Revolution.

If you don't know what I mean, open up a new window and head over to the first news homepage that comes to mind. Eight out of ten times your going to find something in regards to the next big movie being based off of our dearest comic book hero. Since the discovery that comic books reach an innumerable amount of fans in ways that are clearly unfathomable to big move execs, production companies have been battling it out for the rights to comic books, video games, and even novels. With the creation of Marvel Studios and DC Entertainment, that battle advanced to an entirely new level.

With this weekends release of the "long awaited" sequel to Twilight, the franchise has exploded, raking in over $140 million this weekend alone. Now, I mention this because the article forces the point that not all of the women flooding into the convention are "into the 'Twilight' stuff." Well, let me clarify something: yes, they are.

A basic search of pictures pertaining to this year's San Diego comic-con will bring up numerous photos of crowds gathered in such immense crowds, even a bird's eye-view shot can't capture the sheer enormity of it all. A closer look will reveal that the majority (translation: all) of the people waiting in line are in some way, shape, or form, sporting a Twilight shirt.

Freaks of the World, Unite! Team Edward, Go!

As a female obsessed the likes of Batman and Green Lantern, I find that I am more and more being lumped together with Them. Upon closer evaluation of the 'types' of people that attend comic-con, most of the women aren't into comic books. Yes, there is the few that you pass by at one of the hundreds of booths in the complex, but are they any of the females you see in the above picture? No, they're not.

The female comic book fan is still an anomaly in the world of DC and Marvel...and I assure you, those that are there don't resemble anything like the bevy of "Team Edward" schriekers we're seeing so much of. This isn't an age of new female fans...this is the age of Twilighters. That is the only reason we're seeing so many of them. Trust me.

We're surrounded.

The Pick - November 24th

2009-11-25T23:28:00.000-07:00

This week, I've decided to do things a little different. I like to change things up, just to keep things interesting. In honor of the Turkeys (because who really gives a flying f*** about Thanksgiving aside from the awesome Turkey and Mashed Potatoes...honestly), I'm going to name three things this week that I'm thankful for.

1. Blackest Night #5

Written by Geoff Johns
Pencils by Ethan Van Sciver

With the rise of Nekron in the last issue, fans were wondering where Johns was going to take this villain. Well, this week, we found out. I opened the issue, a little forlorn and crossing my fingers that Johns wouldn't drag us into another sentimental pep-talk between Green Lantern/The Flash/Other Various Superheroes. I was pleasantly surprised when my jaw dropped towards the end of the issue...and then the shit hit the fan.

I won't go into detail, because if you want to know what's so epic you'll have to read it yourself. But this year, I'm thankful for DC and Geoff Johns...even if he is a little bit of a selfish-douche sometimes.

2. Ninja Assassin

Running time: 99 minutes
Directed by: James McTeigue
Starring: Rain, Naomie Harris, Ben Miles and Sho Kosugi

Ninja Assassin follows Raizo (Rain), a rogue ninja bent on taking revenge on the clan that raised him. Mika (Harris) is a forensic researcher who has stumbled upon bank records linking mysterious transfers to the deaths of numerous political leaders and important figures.

The opening scene is a veritable smorgasbord of blood, guts, gore, and an infinite number of shuriken slashing people apart. As a whole, it's behemoth of action so CGI-packed, it'll make your head spin. The best thing about that, though, is that you're too caught up in it to really care. Between the violence, martial arts, ninja tactis, and flashbacks, the film doesn't slow down enough for you to think straight. Another great thing about it? It's not cheesy.

While the idea of ninjas has been an ongoing joke in comics and movies for years, there has always been a whisper in the back of everyone's mind about whether they exist or not. While this movie doesn't make the idea any more plausible, it does give it a story that leaves you with plenty of questions...and room for a sequel. Unfortunately, as the Curse of Sequels go, that would only ruin things for it. Nevertheless, if you wnat to get as far away from glittering vampires, and manic depressive tweenagers with abandonment issues, this is a movie you need to see!

3. Assassin's Creed II

Yes, if you're wondering, I do love assassin's. And I know this came about a week ago, but I don't care. I'm thankful for it.

Anyways, if you played the first game, you know this doesn't entirely have to do with assassin's running around killing each other. It's about time travel, and the ancestral link. The plot is different, as is the time period (Venice circa the 15th century), but everything about this game is just as fun to play as the first one. With over 16 new types of missions and a number of new weapons and movements (actually being able to swim[!] as well as throwing people and a multitude of new hiding spots), this has a helluva lot more promise than the first game. Not to mention the graphics are frighteningly realistic, and there are a number of new things to do and ways to kill people.

I'm not finished, but I almost don't want to get through it too quickly. I'll end up being sad :P

Well, that's what I'm thankful for :) Now time to enjoy my thanks.
-TCBC

The Pick - November 17th

2009-11-17T19:43:00.001-07:00

Well, well, well; didn't I say I would be back to normal? Finals are looming in the distance but I'm a master procrastinator so I have no worries on that matter :P This week, I decided to do something a tad different. This week, I decided to review three titles from three popular indie distributors. With the direction some major titles have chosen to take, I think it's safe to say they're getting pretty desperate... I mean, Frankencastle? Really, Marvel? You already embarrassed yourself with The List: Punisher, but you had to take it one step further and go the route of Lame-Spoof-Garbage. And yes, despite what you might say, this piece of utter crap is shameful and a complete disappointment.

I have lost faith in you Marvel. First you sell out to Hollywood, and then you sell out to the mass market. Tsk, tsk.

1. Victorian Undead

Written by Ian Edginton
Art by Davide Fabbri
Colors by Carrie Strachan

Sherlock Holmes vs. Zombies! With the myriad of zombie-related media frenzy, it was only a matter of time before Wildstorm got their chance to make their point, and my, what a point it is. The issue begins with the strange meteor shower befalling London in March of 1854. Not sixth months later, an outbreak has killed over a hundred documented people. From there, we're fast forwarded to 1898 where Mr. Holmes and the ever-present Watson are taking down a Automata intent on taking advantage of its guests. When they're pulled aside to see a most unusual case, they're almost immediately distracted by the Queen's secret service. But as all things Sherlock Holmes go, he's far from butting out of this business.

Being the English major I am, I love a good story, and that is what this has started out as. Albeit it's a little slow starting, and if you're not used to accents or incredibly eloquent proper British English, you'll have a bit of a hard time reading this. But bear with it, because the story flows well, and there is no hidden meaning too deep to figure out. The art is by far some of the best I've seen in a while, but Wildstorm is famous for their easy-on-the-eyes art. The colors add just enough to keep your eye wandering, tracing the outline of a person's face, and moving into the next panel.

All-in-all, a very good read; one I look forward too again.

2. Deadlocke #1

Written by Arvid Nelson
Art by Nick Stakal

As the story begins, we find the titular character, Locke, having just experienced his first time with his girlfriend. From there, the sweetness continues as Renee looks through Locke's sketchbook and is introduced to Deadlocke, the reluctant villain he's created for his comic book. As the issue proceeds, we find Locke and Renee at a costume party hosted by Casey, a boy whom Renee warned Locke about fighting with. Things take a turn for the worst when Casey drops some bad gossip to Locke and they get into the fight Renee warned about. As things escalate, Locke leaves the party chasing after Renee, but ends up home and even more pissed off than before. Not wanted to talk to his mom about what happened, he takes a walk, and who does he meet? Well, I won't spoil that for you.

This was interesting. It almost starts off as if we're in the middle of the story and goes from there. As the issue continues, we realize that maybe Locke's character isn't as made-up as we first imagined. Finally, as things begin to go very wrong, we're introduced to another side of Locke. I like how the story progressed. There wasn't a lot of speech, but what there was, was all very meaningful and forced you to think about what was being said. The art was strange, and I'll admit I wasn't used to it in the beginning, but as things moved, I realized that it suited the storyline very well.

A good read, one that leaves enough questions to pull you into the next issue.

3. Legion Prophets

Written by Scott Stewart & Tom Waltz
Art by Alberto Muriel

It's become commonplace to see comic book prequels and companions to some of the Hollywood giants hitting the big screen. The the influx of comic book movies making the rounds, the industry has taken a huge leap from ten years ago. Legion is one of the giants. As a prelude, this issue offers a insider's look at what we're to expect from the movie in January. First, we're introduced to Jacob Heifitz, an Israeli research student making a run for it with what turns out to be an incredibly important Dead Sea Scroll. From there we meet Sami Samma, whose little sister has been diagnosed with cancer and the only way he can pay for it is to become a suicide bomber. Before he can carry out his mission, however, the airport is overrun with what see like zombies, but we never know for sure (they can think and speak coherently, after all). The first thing they decide--like smart people--is that they need to get out of there and make their way to flight leaving for the states

I liked this. I love anything relating to theology or mythology so this was my cup of tea. The story is narrated by someone we don't know, but they told us just enough that we knew what was going on. We still don't know what the reason is that the angels are after this child, and I suspect we won't know until the movie comes out, but nevertheless, it keeps you interested. The art has a sketchy quality to is that leads the eye in circles. It isn't beautiful, but it fits right in with the feel of the story.

Needless to say, this is a movie I'm looking forward too.

Well, now that I'm done with that, I'll be moving on to less pressing matters, such as my rough draft due tomorrow that I haven't even started. Anyone care to do it for me? No? Well, off I go!

-TCBC

Stripper Poles

2009-11-15T23:36:00.001-07:00

Nothing all that interesting to say besides some people really don't know what their limit is. Observe:

Business is booming

Would you rent a stripper pole? I wouldn't. Imagining the different strains of Herpes and Gonorrhea infesting that metal gives me nightmares.

Sometimes, I love stupid people. This is not one of those times.

-TCBC .

Bum City

2009-11-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

So aside from school taking over my life and my bank account slowly drying up, things in the comic world couldn't get any dandier. About the only thing keeping me going is this month's issue of Batman and Robin. Excuse me, Mr. Morrison, but you've tickled my funny bone. I already think that man is beyond godhood, thanks to the convincing of my co-worker, but this issue just had me on my knees. Maybe now we'll get some answers, but most likely not. Anytime Grant Morrison relieves us with answers to our most dire questions, he only raises bigger, more bizarre questions that lead you to pound your head against the nearest cement surface.

With three weeks left of regular school before I demolish what's left of brain cells on finals week, I intend to get back to a normal weekly schedule of The Pick as well as a bevy of other interesting posts I've been scrounging about.

Something wonderful to be STOKED about:

Hellooooo, Harley!

I originally saw the first design of her from Comic Con, but with the image screaming at you from the pages of previews, I just can't contain my EXCITEMENT! Not only that, but the concept art for Poison Ivy's statue winks at you from the corner.

$99.99 US On Sale June 9, 2010

Meanwhile, until then, I will amuse you with this lovely picture of the Bum's Annoymous group at the bus stop across from school. I was drunkenly harassed as I waited to go home. It was hilarious :)

I think they're planning something sinister.

-TCBC

Where Did I Go?

2009-11-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, peons, I should inform the lot of you of where I've been and why I didn't do a Pick this week. Well, I really don't have an excuse. I'm just damn exhausted. Being a full-time student, working two jobs and trying to keep this up is taking it's toll on me. Sorry to say, but I'll take sleep over comic books and if that's being called 'dispassionate', then I'm a villain.

Anywho, the Pick will return next week, and so will the various topics I'm so 'dispassionate' about :)

-TCBC

I Have Issues - New Show

2009-10-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

For those of you unfamiliar with the news, I now have a new sponsor!

I Have Issues TV

This is the home of I Have Issues… The Internets greatest comic book and geek culture program! The show is hosted by Thomas Healy and Shaun Kronenfeld. Two bitter enemies forced to work together for the betterment of mankind…

Watch the show HERE.
Check it out ever Friday for some of the most mind-blowing banter of comics and action figures!

-TCBC

The Pick - October 27th

2009-10-27T22:49:00.001-07:00

Holy hell, this is a HUGE week! Not only do we have three Blackest Night titles hitting shelves, but the long awaited Necrosha one-shot as well as at least two tie-ins to that! Besides that there is a swarm of new graphic novels and manga. It was a rough decision I had to make tonight, but one I'm happy with. Even with the new titles out, it's a reminder that going back to basics is always a good decision.

I'm making a new addition to the pick. If you scroll down, after each summary, I list the other titles out this week that you can read if you liked one of my picks. If you didn't, well...I really could give a damn. But I don't.

Enjoy, little minions!

1. Batman #692

Written & Drawn by Tony Daniel
Inks by Sandu Florea

After two Batman Reborn arcs under its belt, the Caped Crusader goes back to he who does it best. Tony Daniel, writer and artist of Battle for the Cowl returns to the signature title with an all new story. After last month's confusing cliff-hanger, Daniel leads us to just outside of Gotham where Batman is picking up the pieces of the False Faces. As it turns out, after a brief conversation between Two-Face and Black Mask in last months issue, we find out via a cameo of a scantily clad Selina Kyle that he's back at Devil's Square and up to no good.

Batman discovers that the Falcone family's youngest son has joined the criminal ranks of his father and siblings and is running a mysterious operation on land re-purchased from the government. There's a few comments that both Batman, Black Mask, and Mario Falcone make that leave you scratching your head. But just like he did before, Daniel leaves enough to make you want more. In addition to the great story-telling, his art is just as fantastic as ever... And I can't complain about the cheesecake of Catwoman since there's a nice amount of beefcake Dick Grayson to grin about.

Like Batman? Try:
Gotham City Sirens #5
Detective Comics Batwoman #858

2. World's Finest #1 (of 4)

Written by Sterling Gates
Art by Julian Lopez
Inks by Bit

Aside from a bit of confusing place-setting in the beginning, this turned out to be a lot better than I had first assumed! The title would suggest we are dealing with Superman/Batman, but since that's already taken, DC took a different route, bringing several characters from both franchises together. In this issue, we meet Christ Kent, Superman's adopted son and the new incarnation of Nightwing, who seeks out help from Red Robin Tim Drake.

The inclusion of The Penguin and Kryptonite Man only serve to pull you more into the issue, as it becomes apparent Penguin is attempting to auction off Nightwing's partner Flamebird. With their combined might, our superheroes managed to take the villain by surprise, thus ensuing Flamebird's safety. What's interesting is the end, when we find that Kryptonite Man has gone missing, only to end up in the surgery subject of a mysterious man.

The art is great, but nothing really baffling. I would say, however, that Lopez's pencils are incredibly accurate and gave way to even more daring inks. With two covers to choose from, it's really anyone's decision. But for a mini, this looks like it's going to be rather good!

Like World's Finest? Try:
Arkham Reborn #1

3. Necrosha One-Shot

Written by Craig Kyle & Christopher Yost
Art, Cover, & Variant by Clayton Crain

Aside from the fact that this is Marvel's Blackest Night, this was a damn good read. With Selene getting her nasty little fingers on the T-O virus and using it to control her team of minions, she makes her way to the rumble that was once Genosha, renaming it Necrosha. As she takes a seat on her throne, the rest of the dead raise to do her bidding. Some begin a take-over of Utopia, others find that they need to finish what has already been started, and one hopes to change the future, but may have actually made things worse.

As a whole, this was pretty awesome. It takes a completely different road than BN, one that seems a little bit more foreboding and creepy. The art itself is pretty damn fantastic. My only argument against that is I think Crain draws his women with too-small heads. Aside from that, i love how they're using a single issue only to continue with other on-going titles. It can get a little confusing, but that's easily remedied so long as you get your hands on the little cardboard lists at your local comic book store.

Like Necrosha? Try
New Mutants #6
X-Force #21

That is is for this week... Like I said, it was hard picking what I liked best. After process of elimination from what I already reviewed and what was really just crap, I came down to these three guys. Check them out, kiddies!

-TCBC

The Ninja of Ninja Movies

2009-10-26T11:02:00.005-07:00

First things first: is anyone else as stoked about Ninja Assassin as I am? Probably not... I'm counting down the days until this movie comes out. The reality of this situation is that I'm willing to skip work, skip school, and even skip the best dinner of the year (Thanksgiving--complete with my grandmother's homemade mashed potatoes and stuffing) to be the first one in line to see this movie.

Sweet Mother of God...O_O

The movie stars Rain, a South Korean born actor and model, as Raizo, an orphan taken off the street and raised to be one of the deadliest assassin's in the world by the mythological Ozunu clan. Things turn ugly when the clan betrays Raizo, forcing him to flee and therefore giving us a reason to watch the movie. Anyways, can anyone think of a movie involving ninjas that has been more unbelievable? I'm talking 'go-down-in-history' epic. If this movie doesn't make you shit your pants from just the thought of mindbogglingly amazing this is going to be, then your a lost cause and I suggest you throw yourself off a cliff.

Just the stunt alone take your breath away. If anyone knows what Parkour is, then you know what kind of stunts such a sport entails. I'm sure you've all see this video:

Ooh...Fancy!

It's probably one of the more amusing, and more well-known. But aside from the fact that jumping and being able to climb up buildings with your fingers really has nothing to do with being a ninja, it's pretty impressive. There are plenty of 'How To' books if you know where to look in the book store. Some spoof and some, with a very twisted sense of humor, try to take the matter seriously. But that's nothing compared so some of the things I've lined up for.

In honor of it its upcoming history-making debut, why don't we all take a look back on the history of some of the more prominent Hollywood ninjas to make the grade (pass and fail)

The Octagon (1980)

This is probably one of the first movies that brought ninjas to the American public. In fact, this pretty much gave way to the ninja obsession of the 80's that has revived in out modern era. Chuck Norris, as we all know, has become a paragon of satire and martial arts since his days as Walker Texas Ranger. This movie, his biggest box-office money maker, is a prime example of the kind of skill and strength someone can obtain. Most noticeable are the lack of camera edits, making the action more believable. It gets cheesy at some parts, and kind of slow, but if you haven't seen this, then I pity you. Seriously.

Enter The Ninja (1981)

This is another movie that brought the art of the Ninja to the American audiences and proceeded to rocket it to heights of awesomeness. With the typical plot of an American soldier heading to the orient to learn the ways of the warrior, only to find himself at odds with is training rival and villain of the land. This has some pretty amazing stunts and great choreography, especially for its time.

American Ninja (1985)

Don't let the cheesy cover fool you; for being as old as it is, this movie holds its own. Joe Armstrong finds himself caught in the middle of a crooked trade between the army and a group of ninjas. Typical hijinks ensue and in wonderful 80's fashion, Armstrong catches the eye of one very lusty Colonel's daughter. This movie had a great amount action that can satisfy any martial arts fan. This might just turn into your next guilty pleasure movie :P

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Considering the concept for this hit comic and t.v. show was based of a parody of some of Marvel's biggest seller's at the time, you gotta give the creator credit for doing something right. The comic and show alone register in young men's memories as some of the best Saturday morning's spent in front of the television, not to mention the greatness of the Turtle Pop with gummy eyes from the neighborhood Candy Man. Even with the amount of ridiculousness this movie portrays, it's the memories that make it great.

3 Ninjas (1992)

Ah, yes. Who can forget the story of three unlikely young boys visiting their Japanese grandfather and taking out a crime the size of China that even the FBI can't handle. This was a real blockbuster for its time, wasn't it? Maybe it was just under-appreciated, like so many of its fellow 90's movies... Of course, considering it had sequels equally as bank-breaking, its not wonder this isn't the first thing that comes to mind when one things of a "Ninja."

Beverly Hills Ninja (1997)

This is pretty much self-explanatory. With Robin Shou the prodigal martial arts student and anti-hero, this movie was, at the time, side-splitting and to many, still is. This is a classic case of parody, and done right. Modern movies could take a few notes. May you rest in peace, Christ Farley, but damn, this shit was funny.

Kill Bill (2003-4)

Even though technically this isn't much of a ninja movie, there is plenty of sword fighting and ass-kicking to bring it into this list. Look at GoGo Yubari; she was pretty ninja. Aside from a brief animated short in the beginning showing the gruesome history of

Sin City (2005)

With the decline of Ninja-awesomeness and the impending Vampire & Zombie epidemic, the character of Miho struggles in a world soon-to-be thirsting for glittering bloodsuckers and Zombie-free theme parks. Still, she had a pretty cool part when it came to. Devon Aoki wouldn't be my best choice for a ninja, but she's half Japanese, so she kind of snagged a lucky break considering there really aren't many Japanese-American actresses on the scene that speak as good of Engrish as Aoki does :P It's the special effects that count.... 9_9

That's pretty much it for Hollywood. Anything else I didn't mention was usually so terrible I just wanted to shove my head into a meat-grinder or pray to God I had a stroke at that very moment. Of course, if you really want to Ninja-fy your brain, visit the Ninja Movie Database. It's a simple website, with simple lists, but they tell you everything you need to know about the best [foreign] ninja movies to get you geared up for Ninja Assassin.

And if you have no clue what I'm talking about:? Well, then, blow your mind:

All this...AND Turkey dinner?? Best. Thanksgiving. Ever!

The Pick - October 20th

2009-10-20T23:04:00.001-07:00

After a nice little hiatus, I'm back with the weekly pick. There was a pretty good selection to choose from, which is a nice change from the past two weeks. Some popular titles continued on as well a few premier issues, so all in all, I think it was a pretty good week.

Another upside for this week? I've now officially beat Swine Flu 2009... You know what that means, right? Time to make t-shirts! :D

I'm way too proud of this than is humanly healthy.

Onto the comics.

1. Streets of Gotham #5

Written by Chris Yost
Co-feature written by Marc Andreyko
Art by Dustin Nguyen and Derek Fridolfs
Co-feature art by Jeremy Haun
Cover by Dustin Nguyen

With the start of a two part series entitled "Leviathan," guest writer Chris Yost takes the attention away from Batman and focuses it on The Huntress, who finds herself knee-deep in a losing battle against Kirk Langstrom, a.k.a. Man-Bat. As they tumble through the city, Man-Bat focusing on his next mean, Huntress takes the time to analyze her reasons for protecting Gotham. With an overlapping story focusing on one priests' decent into madness, the story comes together when both Man-Bat and Huntress find themselves at the priests' mercy...

The second-feature of Manhunter continues where the last issue left off, taking a brief detour to tell the story of Jimmy, and how he got into his business. After Kate made her interest in taking down Two-Face known, this issue reveals that he won't take it lying down.

There's a brief preview of Batman/Doc Savage coming in November that, truthfully, baffles me. In one panel Batman is grinning and smoking a cigarette. Now, this isn't our current Batman-reborn; no, no...this is the immortalized Bruce Wayne-Batman. Things get even stranger when, the next page over, Batman is shown having a shoot off with two thugs as he quickly dives for the window--a la Hollywood-style. WTF, Brian Azzarello?? Bruce Wayne-Batman does not grin! Nor does he have a shoot off with thugs! Ever.

I so do not have good expectations for this....

2. Blackest Night Superman #3

Written by James Robinson
Art and cover by Eddy Barrows & Ruy Jos
Variant cover by Shane Davis & Sandra Hope

Now I know I picked the second issue of this last month, but there's nothing that could change my mind from making this decision either. As Superman and Superboy continue to battle, Black Lantern Psycho Pirate continues to share his emotions with the rest of Smallville, watching amused as Superboy attacks Superman, even as the Man of Steel struggles to get through to Connor.

Meanwhile, Ma Kent manages to get the better of Black Lantern Lois with Krypto's help. New Krypton is saved as an order to seal the planet with a counter energy to the black rings. Everything comes together as the mysterious Medusa Mask holds the secret to overcoming the power of the black rings.

Robinson does a fantastic job of telling a story. He manages to keep the action going even while the characters carry on a dialogue between each other. Through out all of this, he also manages to slip hints and reveal secrets without ever seeming too gaudy or too blatant. Barrows' pencils lay out a wonderful foundation for the inkers to finish. Nothing seems overdone, crowded, or distracting; everything points to the focus of the panel and flows effortlessly. That is something that really pulls me into the comic: an example of excellent layout.

As another Blackest Night spin-off draws to a close, we're slipped just a little bit more information about what the Black Lanterns are made of and how to defeat them. While it's still an incredibly slow story line, the summer's event still manages to stay afloat through stories and issues like these. Kudos.

3. Dark Wolverine #79

Written by Marjorie Liu & Daniel Way
Penciled by Stephen Segovia
Cover by Greg Land
Young Guns Variant by Daniel Acuna

The minute I happened upon Daken Akihiro, I was smitten. Who was this smart-mouth, smooth-talking son-on-a-bitch with daddy issues? The amount of mental issues this kid has carried against his upbringing and parental figures is unimaginabley delightful--almost as much as Damian Wayne, but that little darling sits atop my favorites list. And as the little shit becomes a man, he is reminded more and more that things aren't as easy as they come.

He's very painfully reminded of that in this issue, when both Norman and his plan to redeem his reputation backfires with bloody results. Not only is his cover put to the test, but these second rate criminals aren't as stupid as they pretended to be. With Emmy Doolis practically calling the shots, Osborn is going to have to figure a way out of this fast. But, as always, Daken has his own score to settle with Ms. Doolis.

When I realized that the "Liu" in the title stood for "Marjorie Liu," I was flabbergasted. The woman is New York Times best selling romance author. You know, the trashy, smutty, pseudo-pornographic books that only seventy-year-old women in Bridge Clubs read? That kind; and while I freely admit to being a fan of her books, I admit, I didn't really know what to think. But I see her touch in the story and the storyline. With Daniel Way, the pair have managed to make a very compelling story. Even better, they seem to flesh out the characters, giving them the personalities that seems both believable and exciting.

All-in-all, one of the titles I always look forward to now :)

* * * * *

So that's it for this week. Compounded with school, work, and attempting to prepare for Halloween, life has been one big treadmill. Anywho, I wouldn't dream of leaving this website and you guys to the pigeons.

Look for news of a new SPONSOR later this week~! Yay!

-TCBC

The Pick - Postponed

2009-10-14T17:32:00.000-07:00

Due to my unyielding commitment to the education I'm putting thousands of dollars into, I did not have time to do a pick this week. That's not to say there wasn't some good stuff (Batman, Green Lantern Corps, Unwritten), but it was a pretty lame week if you ask me. Lots of titles, but all stuff that has a pretty small fanbase, if one at all.

So, instead, here is a nice little update of what my hair looks like now...in preparation for Poison Ivy :)

This my Barbara Gordon look.

So far, so good. Once I get more with the costume done, I'll post that too.

-TCBC

Poison Ivy Costume - Part One

2009-10-12T10:18:00.000-07:00

As many of you know through word of mouth, my Halloween costume for 2009 is going to be Poison Ivy. I always make two, just for shits and giggles, so my other one is going to be a Nerd (nothing surprising but I figure I get it out of my system now :D). Well, so far, so good. I'm about 40% through the sewing of the ivy leaves. It's not hard, just incredibly time-consuming. I sew for about 4 hours a night when I can.

This is Adam Hughes sketch I'm modeling my costume after:

(I only wish I had those boobs O_O)

Tomorrow, my hair will be that shade of red. Right now, it's only my bangs, but when we did it, we had no idea it was going to come out a cool looking as it did. I'll update when it's done :) As I will with pictures of the actual bodysuit so you can see the progress.

Once the costume is done, I have a photoshoot planned with The Pixel Geek, my good friend and an amazingly talented photographer... we're already nerd booby buddies. In fact, this blog was his idea so thank him for my random commenting and useless blather ;3

One last little tidbit before I get back to what I'm supposed to be doing...:

Come to think if it...I kind of want to recreate this image now :P

-TCBC <3

The Pick - October 6th

2009-10-07T00:48:00.002-07:00

Hooray! A new month! That means titles re-circulate :D

Strangely enough, I don't want to "re-pick" a title that I already recommended and seeing as how I didn't see much this week that I could recommend outside of something that I know most of you don't already read (or don't read...I see how it is), I decided that this was a fine time to start something fresh. There's about six new titles launching this week alone, so I'm making it my business to let you know which you should definitely spend on, and which that don't deserve the trees that were killed to print them.

The Winners:

1. Criminal: The Sinners - Part One

Written by Ed Brubaker
Art by Sean Phillips

The award-winning comic is back. The Sinners follows Tracy, a morose hitman for hire, who has a conscience--definitely not a quality that people in his line of work need. After gaining the angry attention of his employer, he's sent out on a mission to discover whose been killing some of the cities worst inhabitants, and whose trying to move in on his boss, Sebastian's, town.

Brubaker did it again. Really. I'm not sure what the man puts in his coffee every morning that gives him the "I-own-the-mutherfucking-comic-book-world" mojo, but he really needs to slip up that secret ingredient. Sharing with the community might help in production of less crap.

This, however, this is far from Crap. From the moment you turn to the first page, something snags you. Maybe it's the impeccably clean panels, or the slightly noir introduction that makes you feel like your watching an old Dick Tracy drama--but with a lot more cussing and gore. Either way, you can't stop reading. You hear the narrator in your head, and when Tracy talks, you feel the words. Brubaker has a way of creating characters that feel as real to you and me as our mother, brother, or best friend. The dialogue is smooth, and darkly funny. He had a sense of humor most people only find in a B-movie black comedy. But that's good thing.

Philips is flawless in his execution. He manages to show emotion on the characters faces with the slightest lines and the faintest shadow. Very few artists can do that and actually make it believable without overdosing the readers with spastic inking and a maze of the fine lines. Philips manages to pull it off as easy as he wipes his ass. Fucker.

This a fantastic continuation of the previous Criminal series'. Definitely have this on your pull list. Otherwise, you really don't deserve be considered a person.

2. Haunt #1

Written by Robert Kirkman
Pencils by Ryan Ottley
Inks by Todd McFarlane
Layouts by Greg Capullo

Haunt tells of the story of a young man, who after being murdered for something he didn't know, gains the ability to "haunt" his brother Daniel's body, thus transforming their merging into a powerful being.

I've always been at an odds with Kirkman. I love The Walking Dead series, but I despise Invincible (and for good reason, I just won't get into it here). I was never sure if I liked him, or hated him. This comic just made that decision for me. Haunt is, at it's barest, a unimaginably fantastic piece of writing. The idea Kirkman put together along with McFarlane is both original and engaging. Add to that Kirkman's ability to tell as story simply through the words his characters speak, and you have a title that is will worth the money, an attribute not many other comics can claim.

Ryan Ottley's pencils, as always, seem a bit too boxy and cartoonish for my liking, but he's changed up his style from the horrendously bubbly art for Invincible enough to go with what this story is: a gritty, hard-to-stomach, bloody walk-through of two men's life. McFarlane does a phenomenal job inking, so much so, his bold flavor is more than evident in the pages...it's in-your-face obvious. together, Ottley and McFarlane make an odd combination that nevertheless works.

For a brand-new title, this is an amazing start, one that has finally tipped my Kirkman scale in his favor.

The Loser:

3. Doctor Voodoo #1

Written by Rick Remender
Art by Jefte Palo

So, starting with a summary might be a bit difficult, since, honestly, I had no-fucking-clue what the hell was even going on!

I'm not sure who Remender is, only that every time I type his name I want to spell "remainder." His writing is flat at best, and the story itself feels rushed, like he wasn't sure he was going to get enough pages. Well, he could have easily solved that by skipping the first five pages altogether. Sure, maybe they had some significant meaning, but if it really had no point in this first issue, then he really should have just held off for a later date.

Not only that but Dr. Doom makes his wide, shiny, well-oiled self known about half-way through. Then proceeds to explain every gosh-darned smart move he makes. Towards the end, he manages to wrap up their fight and make his exit in two measly panels.

Whoa. Wtf?

All in all, this book isn't even worth glancing at. It's a shame that Palo art goes to waste on something as trivial as this title. Marvel is really losing their touch here.There is a chance to make a very strange, normally obscure character stand out and all it does is flop around like a dead fish. A pity really.

That's it for this week's titles.
Remember that losing sleep for your comics is the only reason worth staying up in the first place. After all, you can sleep when your dead.

-TCBC

Men, this COULD be you.

2009-10-04T22:51:00.000-07:00

Aside from the fact that this post has absolutely nothing to do with comics, I still feel the need to make it. The amount of ridiculousness compounded with the utter hilarity of the matter just makes my phlegm-filled, lung-hacking, fever-inducing-then-breaking weekend.

Taken from Cracked.com, Bernie Baker (not be confused with the Surf Photographer of the same name) went down in the Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest male stripper.

Ladies & Gentlemen, feast your eyes upon this delectable hunk of man-meat.

"Bernie Barker was technically the owner of two different records. Not only was he the oldest working professional male stripper, he was also entitled to 50% of the World's Oldest Onstage Teabagging. The partner in that record could not be reached for comment, as we're guessing she was coincidentally stricken with an unshakable catatonia immediately following the event.

Bernie was a regular performer at Club LeBare in Miami Beach, Florida from the year 2000 to 2007. He began his career at the age of 60. He described it as a way to get in shape after recovering from prostate cancer. We'd imagine his previous job was less supportive of the "therapeutic dryhumping" he had to perform throughout the day. Barker apparently decided that if old age was going to take away his dignity, by God it was going to go down with guns blazing.

"I'm Superman, baby."

Guiness says he won "over 30 contests" before he passed away in

March 2007. We're not sure what kind of contests these were, and we don't want to find out."

Thank you, Ian Cheesman, for forever branding my cornea's with this nightmare. I will forever be in your debt.

-TCBC

Batman doesn't get sick. So why am I?

2009-10-01T13:45:00.000-07:00

Oh, that's right. I'm not Batman.

But if I were, I assure you, I would kick, kill, and squash whatever bacterial fungi was trying to take hold of my godlike body. The mental issues...now that's a whole 'nother story. I don't know if...no, scratch that. I'm positive I would never turn as truly mad as Batman/Bruce Wayne.

The article, The 10 Mental Illnesses Batman Indisputably Has will prove my point some. However, ignore he bigamist ignorance in the commentary. It's trite and boring.

Of course, naturally, being born with ovaries and a vagina has predisposed me to some about of schizophrenic psychosis which grants me inimitable amounts of arrogance, rage, and emotional instability. But still, I could take on the Catwoman's, Emma Frost's, Harley Quinn's, and Jean Grey's of the comic universe.

Batman, I could not.

Now for a bit of a illustration on how I'm holding up today:

This is how I FEEL.

The Pick - September 29th

2009-09-29T21:00:00.001-07:00

Another week of having to peruse the shelf for what I really want to read! Wow....I have to admit, it wasn't hard to know what was going to be good for this week. Just flipping through some of the titles had my eyes rolling in the back of my head. Luckily, some are still going strong.....unlike others.

1. Green Lantern #46

Written by Geoff Johns
Art and cover by Doug Mahnke and Christian Alamy
Variant cover by Andy Kubert

Blackest Night continues as Indigo-1 takes Hal to meet up with Star Sapphire a.k.a. Carol Ferris. The tension is still obvious between these two, but Johns keeps the banter light and quick as he moves the story. As Sinestro attemps to free his corps from the Star Sapphires, the black rings find their way to Zamaron, compromising the planet, and Indigo-1 has to once again, jet the three out of there.

When Sinestro finds himself face-to-face with Mogul on Korugar, the two duke it out for control. What Mogul doesn't know, however, if that Sinestro is smarter than he thought. The battle is pretty brutal and we get to see some purple blood, but guess who tops out? Things get even better when Abin and Arin Sur make surprise visit.

Obviously, the battle is only just begun. With as many tie-ins as there are for Blackest Night, one can find themselves practically exhausted from it. My suggestion is stick with the major titles like Green Lantern, GL Corps, and Blackest Night, otherwise, you're going to get very bored, very quickly. Remember, this thing is supposed to last well into next summer!

2. X-Force #19

Written by Christopher Yost & Craig Kyle
Pencils & Inks by Mike Choi & Sonia Oback

The X-Force continues as Morales manages to finagle her way out of a sticky situation...straight into another one. Elixir is still out, and Cyclops continues to give very little away. This issue focuses mainly on X-23 and Morales trying to escape, with the occasional flash of Wolverine and Bastion. As a whole, you kind of breeze through it, which is one thing I really like about this title. It's set up kind of like a mini-movie. The paneling and art make that part easy.

This is one of the few titles that I like the inks better than the pencils. Without the color and shape, the story would be flat...and that would put it right where most other X-Men titles are at the moment: in Crapville.

With Necrosha coming up, this as well as New Mutants will only be setting up for the main plot lines, so not a whole lot will make sense. But that's okay, because Yost actually works things out in the end.

3. Cyber Force Hunter-Killer #2

Written by Mark Waid
Art by Kenneth Rocafort

If you haven't picked up this title, I highly suggest you give yourself a swift kick in the ass.

Both titles were some of Top Cow's under the radar successes a few years back. While they both left fans with cliff-hanger endings, thankfully, they've decided to bring both back in this interesting crossover team up.

Ellis forces the two teams to stop fighting long enough to listen to what he has to say. Revealing that Morningstar is in fact, the one who donated the basis of the technology to Cyberdata, the truth is out that the little device known as the Jett is actually a supercomputer collecting data on anyone and everyone who have ever surfed the net for the briefest second. With the plan put into action, the groups break up and head from the main facilities that are controlling the data collection.

Waid has been one of my favorite writers since I picked up the first Hunter-Killer issue in, like, 2002 (or something). Not only is he doing an amazing job with Irredeemable, but he'd practically picked up where he left off with the CF/HK title. The issue flows, with enough attention to detail that you know what's going out, and can still follow the story. Combined with Rocaforts incredible style, it works. Amazingly.

So like I said, if you haven't grabbed this off the shelf, you might as well just go throw yourself into on-coming traffic, because your pea-brain isn't worth the next breath.

F!@%$# homework time >:(

BATMAN BY FRANK QUITELY!!

2009-09-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

If your a constant lurker of the DC Direct website like me, then you already know about this. If you're not, then you cannot call yourself a fan and don't deserve your eyeballs.

Anyways.

In their 'Just Announced' under the Statues section, they've posted this lovely image of the BATMAN BLACK AND WHITE STATUE: BATMAN BY FRANK QUITELY. It's modeled after the image of Batman on the issue #1 of Batman and Robin (the fourth installment with powerhouses Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely), making it the first ever statue of Dick Grayson as the Batman. Behold:

O_O *Spooge*

I'm already on the lookout for prepay release info. At $80.00 it's going to make a dent in your wallet. Nevertheless, I can't pass this up. It will be mine!

Now the next thing we can look forward to is a Damian statue and I'll be in high heaven.

See the link HERE.

Another fun thing to look forward to is the DC ORIGINS: SERIES 1: NIGHTWING Action Figure Two-Pack. If you know me, then you'll know how big of Dick Grayson/Nightwing fan I am (hence my 'spooging' of the above item). I shouldn't be doing it, but I know I'll be dipping into the forbidden savings account to get my hands on this:

*Gurgle* .... *Spooge*

Batman, Catwoman, and The Joker are going to be available in the two-pack action figures as well, with the classic/original designs as well as the current/modern design. You can see Nightwing HERE.

No price on this one yet, but my guess is it's going to run about $30 or up. Again, I will be keeping my eye on prepay release info.

Both go On Sale May 5, 2010.

The Pick - September 22nd

2009-09-23T01:08:00.005-07:00

Another week, another night in which I'll be taking Nyquil to get me to sleep. I hate being sick. Time to decompress and do what I do best: talk about comics and drinking beer (which completely negates any attempt at getting better, but fuck it).

:D

1. Spider-Woman #1

Written by Brian Michael Bendis
Art by Alex Maleev

I have to admit, Marvel had me worried for a while. With the lack of talent turnover for nearly every issue of every title within the last four months, I had lost all hope that I was ever going to pick up something worth my time and hard-earned money (hah!).

Can't say that this enough to lure me over to the dark side, but it has its moments that are enough to have me looking forward to the next issue. Aside from some incredibly repetitive wordplay in the beginning ("the most screwed over person in the history of the universe"), cliche-ly infantile word choice ("doohickey," "shmancy," "thingamajig,"), and a 007-reference ("should you choose to accept"), I thought this was well written, with a tangible sense of self-depreciation that fit the character. Bendis knows how to write POV that is believable, and aside from the minor annoyance I mentioned before, my eyes were glued to the page.

When I first flipped through the issue, I had my reservations about the art, but as it turns out, Maleev's darkly rich paneling moves the story in a way that becomes page turning. Using a model for the character gives her a depth that most artists have a hard time accomplishing. The color only adds to the detail. Each panel becomes a picture that you can imagine seeing yourself, and that becomes part of the appeal of this issue.

2. Blackest Night: Superman #2

Written by James Robinson
Pencils by Eddy Barrows
Inks by Ruy Jose

Wow. What else can I say? I haven't had the great pleasure of reading much of Robinson's work, but after this, I guarantee that I will be looking into it. Bringing Psycho Pirate back in probably one of the smartest decisions in terms of badass Black Lanterns. With the way things are going with the emotional spectrum, he takes the cake...and Smallville too.

Not only does he make the issue flow, he writes in a way that gets under your skin, and if it gets under your skin, I can't imagine how it affects the Man of Steel.

I can't get enough of Barrow's pencils either. Jose does well enough of an inking job to make me notice the original artwork beneath. No offense to Reis, but Barrows knows his skin-melting, black tar-vomiting zombies...with the close-ups, you just stop and stare at the amount of detail put into it. Then you imagine that you really wouldn't want that kicking your ass. I'm also loving the inverted coloring to display the emotions running through everyone. It makes for fantastic transition effects between panels. This is an issue that you simply read start to finish without even realizing it.

Oh, and Martha Kent makes for one bad mutha.

3. Batwoman Detective Comics #857

Written by Greg Rucka
Art by J. H. Williams III
Colors by Dave Stewart

I must say, when I first started this run of Detective Comics, I was so overwhelmed by everything from the new Batwoman to the meticulous panel placement to the in-your-face colors that I didn't know what to do with myself. Now, however, as this arc comes to an end, I find myself screaming into a pillow and crying that "it just can't be over! It can't!"

Rucka blows you away again with his fabulous story telling. The minute you open this issue, your involved. The story doesn't fall flat at any one time. In fact, Rucka very much knows what he wants the story to say and exactly how to say it.

Added to that is the mind blowing artwork. The interchanging overlap of panels between Batwoman and The High Madame flow seamlessly (Hello? Look at the awesome cover!) and if you pay attention, there is an absolutely gorgeous color change about halfway through that leaves your mouth dry and your eyes glazed. The twisted character design of The High Madame reminds me of something the manga artist Mitsuharu Mitsukazu would come up with in one of her twisted gothic lolita storylines...but cooler looking and more badass.

This week is...sad to say the least. Most of the titles had me rolling my eyes, and aside from some manga that I'd been looking forward to, there was nothing spectacular--besides these three--that had me racing to buy my box.

I'm especially glad I didn't bother with Giant Size Wolverine Old Man Logan issue. I'm not even going waste my time on that garbage.

-TCBC

Megan Fox: What's the big deal?

2009-09-21T00:23:00.002-07:00

I get it. She's hot.

The iconic role she will never live down. Ever.

Whoopy-friggin'-do.

With this summer's Tranformers still freshly crappy in our minds, Jonah Hex out June 2010, and talk of a role in the 'in-the-works' Fathom movie, it's hard not to walk by a but a newsstand or flip a channel without something regarding the Angelina Jolie/Sharon Stone wannabe popping up in the news.

Do you have any idea how many hot women there are in this world today? So she happens to be the new starlet that the paparazzo's are all over, and her social life (or lack thereof, as she so openly puts it) is the talk of the town. Still, I don't see her actual value.

For starters, she'd dumb as a brick.
And no, I'm not quoting the Transformers crews' letter, for the record.

Have you ever watched an interview? She opens her mouth and instantly you want to kill yourself. Watching her puke out black, bloody tar is more interesting than listening to her talk. And there's that thing where she repeats herself. I dare you to pick up one magazine in which she graces the cover and flip to the article. Then go pick up another magazine..and read that article. Then another..and read that article. I can guarantee you that you will be reading the same article, written by multiple different people, published at completely different times, yet talk about the exact same thing: Megan as a sex symbol. This month, she's not only on the cover of Cosmopolitan, but Rolling Stone as well. Go read both articles. Then tell me what was different about them.

Nothing. All you're going to read about is how "great" she thinks it is that she's a sex symbol. Nothing about her movie career, the scripts she's considering (*ahem* Fathom, anyone?); nothing about how filming went for her latest flick. Nada. Just...vaginas.

Well, if I had plastic surgeons, fashion designers, wardrobe specialists, and make-up artists at my beck and call, then yeah, I'd probably talk about how fantastic my vagina was too.

But have you ever watched anything she was actually in? She's like Jennifer Aniston playing, well, Jennifer Aniston. She plays the same character in every movie... There's nothing spectacular about her. And no, I'm not speaking out of spite. Hell, the girl is a bombshell (look at her!). If I were a dude, I'd be just as brain dead whenever I looked at her as the rest of them.

Thankfully, I am not a dude, and therefore very much in control of my cerebral cortex.

“I want people to know me through the movies I do,” she says. “I want to be judged on that. If you start becoming famous for your personal life, that’s when your career goes away.”

So said Ms. Fox in her 2007 GQ interview, MEGAN FOX WAS A TEENAGE LESBIAN.

Well, if that's the case, I suggest you pick better scripts. Her latest movie, Jennifer's Body, is nothing to swoon over. It's a half-hearted attempt at an original thriller a la Carrie but crappier and waste of $7.50 (WTF kind of name is 'Needy'???) by an ex-stripper whose claim to fame was a sixteen year old getting preggers and deciding to give the baby up for adoption. WOW.

"How about I use my teeth, baby."

Fox goes on to talk about how she doesn't want to be famous for her role in Transformers and would like to be known as a serious actress. Well, Ms. Fox, first I suggest you put on about thirty pounds; in case you haven't noticed, A-listers and award winners are at a constant odds with their diet for the movie roles they're being offered.

Her wanting to be a serious actress is like me saying I want to be the Dhali Llama. It just doesn't work. Ever. Anyone who knows me would pop a blood vessel and hemorrhage from laughter if they even thought I could have patience for other people, let alone someone like her. Her logic is ignorant at best, and just plane stupid at worst. I can't count the amount of times she contradicts herself in her interviews.

Example A: "The show was repressing her, she says, tamping down her sexuality: “Sex is something that everyone does, so why can’t I talk about it?” Sexual double standards make Fox angry, and when conversation turns to tabloid-flamed scandals surrounding other teen stars who’ve been photographed in various stages of nudity and semi-nudity, she goes off..."

She continues with: "she recognizes that Serious and Respected Actors have become serious and respected precisely because they don’t say this sort of stuff."

And then: "If I get stuck doing comic-book films for the rest of my life, I’ll be really happy,” she says. “I love those types of movies. And I don’t mind being sexy..."

Oh. My. God. Someone shoot me now.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but none of that made any sense, whatsoever.

I'll be the first to admit, when I first found out who she was, I was obsessed. She was my girl-crush for like, ever. Then she opened her mouth...and I wanted to stab myself. Supposedly, she makes up half the shit she tells the press, "just to keep things interesting." From the looks (and the articles) of it, she's doing exactly what she doesn't want to do. Her attempt to make herself known on the basis of her acting abilities are prosaic and self-depreciating. It's become incredibly obvious that she has become known for the very thing she despises: her social life.

The very fact that she tells stories to the press to make them squirm is just as bad as Lindsey Lohan's torrid relationship with that DJ. Saying she wants to be known as a respected actress, and wanting to receive roles that will expand her prowess in Hollywood is in completely repudiate to her constantly spouting how important her sexuality it to her.

If that's all she intends to talk about, then that's all she's going to get. In Hollywood, sex sells, and at the moment, she's a living, breathing eyegasm for the male population. If she expects any amount of respect, I suggest she be up front and honest about things other than how men fear a confident vagina. Her confidence as a woman is not what is being questioned, it is her confidence as an actress. To date, she has no credibility whatsoever, and that's is sorely disappointing considering she has the power and control over the media to take that in plenty of different directions.

It's even sadder that she's pushing to make a point of hot she is yet how she's still such a geek. Perfect example is here, at Gameology.

I can't say that I'm that big of Jonah Hex fan, but I do know the story and I have perused the pages of the trade paperbacks. The fact that she plays a gun-wielding prostitute doesn't surprise me. It's a typecast she's going to have one helluva time trying to get over--and it'll be her own fault.

The reason I'm going to see this movie.

There isn't a whole lot of faith I put into comic book movies, as you all should know, but this looks promising. I'm a Josh Brolin fan and despite my distaste for Ms. Fox's choice of roles, I will keep my expectation neutral until further proof is available.

Not the reason I'm going to see this movie.

(Who can even breathe in that, let alone walk?)

I've exhausted myself on this matter. Nothing I can say will change the fact that she is as artificial as Hollywood gets. I don't care of she's a bitch. I don't care of she's rude, crude, or otherwise ill-mannered towards the people she works with. Hell, I don't care if she hates her fans.

I just want her to shut the f*ck up!

The Pick - September 15th

2009-09-15T23:00:00.006-07:00

Another week, and another top three for you to race home a read. This week is exceptionally tasty as some of my favorite titles have been released. Savor them; they tell a lot more than you think.

1. Blackest Night #3

Writer Geoff Johns
Pencils by Ivan Reis
Inks by Oclair Albert & Joe Prado

The Black Lanterns continue their assault in Gotham as Green Lantern and The Flash attempt to make some logic of the chaos that is ensuing. The most exciting part about this issue is that the enigmatic Indigo Lanterns finally make an appearance! After explaining to Mera where the origin of the Black Lanterns came from, we get a glimpse of what can possibly take them down.

As most people would assume--myself included--the White Light will triumph, but according to Indigo-1, that can only be accomplished when all the lantern corps come together and act as one. Does this mean the rumor circulating for months that Hal Jordan may be the first ever White Lantern just may be true?

As always, Reis blows us away with his amazing pencils, complemented only by the great lines and sharp contrast of colors. If you have the extra cash, I highly recommend you drop in on a varient issue or two for this story. They're well worth it and a great item to add to your display (I have all three so far...and then some :P)

2. Captain America: Reborn #3

Words: Ed Brubaker
Art: Bryan Hitch
Inks: Butch Guice
Colors: Paul Mounts

By now, most of you should know that I'm not much a Marvel fan; but when Captain America: Reborn came out, I had to read it. Brubaker has a knack for storytelling that most other writers don't: he takes you on a whirlwind of a ride, throwing you from scene to scene without a second thought. Just when you think you have absolutely no idea what's going on, he slaps you with a cliffhanger, and a damn good one.

That's how this issue unfolds. Steve Rogers has been thrown from date to date, reliving some of the biggest moments in his life in way that he feels like a hollow shells simply watching events unfold and not being able to do anything about it. We see him tossed this way and that, but then we realize that it isn't quite just "physical" anymore. Rogers is losing what little of a grasp he had on his mental well-being and sanity as well.

Knowing that Osborn has a plan of his own, it leaves you on the edge of your seat for the next issue. Brubaker has done an amazing job of telling this story. Whereas most "reborn" story lines fall flat and leave something to be desired, Captain America: Reborn takes a 180 degree turn from that, smoothly showing us that we can actually believe that so-and-so came back.

3. Batman and Robin #4

Written by Grant Morrison
Pencils by Philip Tan
Inks by Jonathan Glapion

Colors by Pete Pantazis

The Red Hood makes his appearance as he and Scarlet (a left over from Pig's little experiments) take crime in Gotham into their own hands--even if it leaves them bloodied. Even as crime bosses vie for the spot of top dog in Gotham's shadows, the Red Hood is there to take them all out, leaving Batman thinking that this new "hero" is just an old friend from the past. As the Red Hood puts it, "...this is about the revenge of one crazy man in a mask on another crazy man in a mask."

The chemistry between Batman and Robin is as hilarious as ever as Batman attempts to show Damien just what it means to be part of the Bat Family and Damien, ever the little brat, yearns to do things his own way. Morrison once again writes a tale that is just as twisted and disturbing as his previous works and although I'll miss Quietley's bulbous, ironic atwork, I'll have to be content with Tan's ability to convey the darkness of Gotham City. Regardless, it's obvious there is much more the story than Morrison is giving you at face value.

Just who do you think is behind the Red Hood?

That's this week. It's kind of light week all around which can be a good thing, but frustrating for those stories that we just can't get enough of (*cough*blackestnight*cough*). If you get anything this week, be sure to at least skim through these issues. If you haven't caught up to them...well, then I pity your existence.

-TCBC

Actor's playing Superheroes: What makes them 'super'?

2009-09-12T21:01:00.010-07:00

It's a question that's crossed many of our minds countless times within the last five years alone. With the amount of rumors going around suggesting so-and-so as the next superhero, most of us comic book fans are ready to throttle a kitten with frustration. Kept on the edge of our seats, the amount of anticipation building is almost strangling. Still, we can count of some of the more memorable releases to keep our appetites sated for now.

I think it's needless to say that after 2008's The Dark Knight, we can hands down declare by and far who has played the best comic book character to date. After years of Hollywood A-listers signing up to run around in spandex and utter lines like "It's clobbering time," we finally had a man who didn't just attempt to emulate the psychological wrongness of The Joker--he flat out redefined it.

Then the unimaginable happened--Ledger kicked the bucket.

I'm not sure what was more heartbreaking to fans--the fact that he died from a drug overdose, or the fact that Batman had lost is ultimate enemy. Call me a heartless bitch, but I was more disappointed about the latter. I'm not the greatest of Comic Book Movie Fans and I'll be the first to tell you what I hate about them, but still, I won't deny that after seeing that movie, I walked out with my head spinning.

A Scene to Remember.

It's hard to imagine that anyone could possibly do a better job than he did. Aside from Christian Bale's smokers voice, who would have ever thought that the alien-looking thing from The Machinist would turn into Gotham's Dark Knight? In addition to him, there have been countless others who, though they made not have made the impact that Ledger did, had us scratching our heads in the end.

For instance, one of the first people to set the bar for superheroes was the late Christopher Reeve. As Superman (arguably the most recognized character in the history of superheroes), he embodied everything that was the man of steel stood for. In Superman, his approach to representing Clark Kent was simple and down-to-Earth. At the time, he had no one to compete with (as poor Brandon Routh did in Superman Returns) and I imagine even if he did, he wouldn't have cared. There was an innate ability within him that just made Clark and Superman what they were.

Hunky, yes. But as a hit Routh stopped short of emulating the iconic superhero.
Word on the street is that he isn't the favorite for the next movie.

Within the last decade, practically, comic book fans have seen a tremendous influx of movies based on our favorite superheroes and villains alike. But which ones can we consider Great, Good, and downright Garbage? I can't really speak on this subject as I personally don't like comic book adaptation to any degree. I'm not easily impressed, and suffice to say, almost everything I've seen remains unfortunately in the category of "why did I actually spend money to see that?"

It's almost a consensus in regards to the X-Men titles that the first one remains what can be considered "Good." After that, it seems fans didn't take kindly to the following two films. When asked whether or not they liked this year's opening blockbuster, Wolverine, the fans answer with a collective sigh and a shrug of their shoulders. Some of the more passionate ones vehemently protest its success in every possible away. My personal opinion? I paid attention for all of nine total minutes, and all of those minutes included one hunky Taylor Kitsch as Gambit. Now, he didn't get the accent right and looked nothing like the character--about the only thing he did have was the swagger and even that was kind of piss poor--but I only went to see it because he's the hypothetical father of my hypothetical future children. So my opinion on the movie matters nil.

My judgment regarding this matter is incredibly clouded
by my hormones. 'Nuff said.

With that in mind, not a whole lot of people can forget about movies such as Elektra, Catwoman, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and the more recent The Spirit. All of those, aside from having scantily clad women in skin tight lycra, received some of the more heinous reviews from fans and critics alike. These were more like desperate attempts to salvage a sinking ship.

When you compare any one of those titles against last years surprise hit, Iron Man, it almost makes you cringe to even consider it. Iron Man took the bar from where it straggled just above disastrous and shot it beyond view. It was a collaborative effort between Downey Jr. and Jon Favreau that made the movie what it was. For me, that included being one of the few movies I was impressed with. I explain that the same way I explain Ledger's interpretation of The Joker; Downey Jr. didn't bother to attempt to "act" the part of Tony Stark, he was Tony Stark from the very beginning.

So, assuming Heath Ledger and Robert Downey Jr. were pretty much born to play these roles, let me ask you this: what makes them so great? We as fans can assume that an actor or actress, based on their repertoire, might have the quote-unquote acting ability, but that's not how Hollywood sees it, apparently. The most obvious reason for this is the ultimate issue of Beauty. We can easily deduce that almost all people chosen for roles are decided upon based on their physical appearance. Example: Jessica Alba is scorching, but as the Invisible Woman? Yikes. It's like getting all hot and bothered as you sit down in the theater to watch the Fantastic Four movie, and then you do, and it's like the water heater broke leaving you with an ice cold shower.

Comic gold? I think not.

My point here is questioning what makes someone "worthy" to play the role of a superhero/villain? There are countless movies now that we can look at: Transformers, Spider-Man, G.I. Joe, The Incredible Hulk, Constantine, Speed Racer, 300 Days of Night, Blade, The Crow, et cetera. Comic Book Movies lists almost every title that has been or has yet to be released, all with articles pertaining to directors, actors, and crew.

With such a list (that continues to grow), it's almost baffling to see some of the products. We sit in our chair, tapping our feet and wringing our hands waiting for the movie to be released. Then we wait in line (sometimes for hours on end) just to be one of the first people to watch the movie. Most of the time, it's a hit or miss though. An actor can't foresee whether he is going to go down in comic history as Reeve and Ledger did, nor can a director know how much he is going to be loved or hated for the adaptation he puts out. Comic book movies are just that: adaptations. It's completely impossible to take over seventy years of comic book history and condense it into a measly hour and half. So after all the waiting, what happens when all our expectations are horribly and miserably crushed?

With titles like Captain America, Iron Man 2, Ant-Man, Thor, The Dark Knight Returns, Green Lantern, The Avengers, Thundercats, Jonah Hex, and Kick-Ass said to be coming to theater's within the next three years, its no wonder fans are at the edge of their seats ready to riot.

As one of the most anticipated movies of 2010, will it do justice to Millar's
biting humor and comic carnage? Or is it just another foray into every man's
prepubescent superhero fantasies that never quite make it?

Comic books are read by roughly 500,000 people across the globe. Movies on the other hand are watched by over 2 billion. Obviously Hollywood going to have a bias as to who to cater to. Still, Hollywood wouldn't have anything to work with if not for those 500,000 fans. Hence this influx of adaptations. It finally even occurred to production companies to actually employ the people writing the series to write the scripts. Now if only they can take the next step and rely on the fans to put who they want where. Almost everyone I talk to about this subject has something passionate to say about it.

We as fans know what want and that includes who we want to represent our superheroes. I'm not saying we could make the smartest decisions, I'm just saying that maybe reaching out and listening to us for once might be a wiser decision than some of the ones these so-called executives have been making.

I know that I don't necessarily want someone to look exactly like the hero/villain they portray, but I do know that I want them to do that character justice. Why?

That's why.

The Pick - September 9th

2009-09-10T18:38:00.013-07:00

I should probably mention that each and every week, aside from my posts filled with asinine information and cynical imaginings, I'll be flagrantly deciding what top three comics you definitely read for the week. I've nothing more to say on the matter besides I know what I'm talking about so buy the damn books.

1. Adventure Comics #2

Written by Geoff Johns
Art by Francis Manapul

With Superboy moved back into the Kent home, our favorite Wonder Girl stops in for dinner. Some personal issues surface and with the story, we get to see a softer, more romantic side of Geoff Johns' writing in comparison to the hectic space that the bloodthirsty Black Lanterns are very quickly taking over. It definitely appealed to the hopeless romantic in me; Johns' has a talent for fleshing out (no pun intended) the characters he writes and giving them a sense of realism that we might not have ever seen before. Sure, they just happen to be aliens/clones/cyborgs/symbiotes, but in spite of that we can still relate to them.

On the other side of the planet, however, we learn that Lex Luthor and Brainiac are hatching a plan, and Luthor is non too happy about Superboy's return. Will Connor and Cassie's newly restored relationship last? Readers, be patient; as syrupy sweet as this issue is, it's setting up for something much bigger. I'm not usually a Manapul fan as I have some issues with the way he draws men, but he keeps his hand light and airy, a necessity for a story meant to convey the innocence and awareness of growing up a being made from two of the most intrepid characters ever.

2. Unwritten #5

Written by Mike Carey
Art by Peter Gross
Cover by Yuko Shimizu

This issue takes an intriguing turn from the flow of the first four. The readers are given a historical view of exactly how the 'unwritten' came to be. A young Rudyard Kipling learns that behind every offer of charity, there is a hidden motive and should you break the pact you first created, there will be much hell to pay. However, it is only after what appears to be a regretful acquiescence do we realize that Kipling was not the pawn after all, and in the end, holds the other teams king.

It's incredibly wordy and readers unaccustomed to Carey's writing from his popular Lucifer title may not understand all of it, and perhaps may need to read over a few parts as the dialogue is very proper. Nevertheless, this is a spooky turn of events foreshadowing even more disturbing times for our protagonist.

3. Blackest Night Batman #2

Written by Peter J. Tomasi
Art by Adrian Syaf & John Dell
Cover by Andy Kubert
Variant cover by Bill Sienkiewicz

Things get crazy as Ventriloquist, Blockbuster, and a bevy of newly inducted Black Lanterns take to the streets of Gotham, calling out our favorite caped crusader. The story gets gruesome but with a point that is very easily understood: the Black Lanterns want revenge. Red Robin makes a cameo and the new Robin remains ever the little troublemaker that he was born to be. Now, with the desecration of the Grayson graves, Batman has to face what could be some of the most psychologically destructive foes he's ever encountered: his own parents.

Tomasi keeps true to the feeling of Blackest Night and fairly newcomer Adrian Syaf does a faboulous job of transitioning smoothly through the panels. Nothing is too hard to hard look at. My only qualm is that while Syaf has an unmistakable talent, I think he has a bit of learning to do before he can truly capture to darkness of Gotham.

That, and if Black Lanterns can fly through space, how can flamethrowers take them down? As my coworkers so eloquently put it: "they look like Ghost Busters!"

That's it for this week.
With Blackest night as one of the biggest things to happen across the DC Universe, we should have some pretty tasty titles to keep up pacing up until next week.

-TCBC

The First Post Regarding "Gay Out Boy"

2009-09-09T01:17:00.000-07:00

Only I would make my first post about the "chart-topping" tween sensation, Fall Out Boy. But after swinging by work to pick up my weekly share of comic books, I couldn't help but notice the new flyers sitting besides the registers. Behold:

Amusingly enough, I had a hard time believing it. It's rather obvious that this so-called "band" has next to no useful talent, nor any sense of originality. They sound just like any other teen pop star. About the only thing they can do is pretend to be men (and even then they don't succeed). Observe:

So obviously, we have a dilemma.

On to my point. Apparently, due to said bands' new comic book, Fall Out Toy Works, the band decided to offer to hold a signing at one of our locations. How generous of them! Neither parties are paying of course, so that's why I call it a humble bargain. However, though they seem to have found some semblance of benevolence in their blackened Hollywood hearts, they still persist to make demands. Of which include:

- A 6ft. long table with a skirt and chairs
- "Good" music ...(I'll come back to this)
- Room temperature bottles of water
- Chewing gum

In addition to those listed above, they also told us that while fans are allowed to take pictures of the band, they are not allowed to ask to take pictures with the band.

Apparently, the offer to sign autographs came because they are having a show later that evening. I wouldn't know; I don't listen to crappy music. Which, speaking of music, what constitutes as "good" music to them? I mean, listen to any one of their songs and immediately you wish you had a power drill and an eight inch long screw to shove into your ear canal and destroy your cerebral cortex. The last thing you want to actually remember is what you just heard.

Think of the comparison:
Fall Out Boy Music or an unresponsive vegetative state?

I don't know about you, but I'd take the latter any day.

So what do they think is going to be played there? They even told us that they didn't want us playing their music. See? Even they don't want to listen to themselves. I vote we turn up some Enya and offer to align their chakras. Anyways, I never much understood their appeal. After all, their fanbase consists of nearly 90% of the tween population across the United States (Canadian parents are smart enough to teach their children what future child molesters look like). It's only a matter of time before they reveal that they're all alien drag queen symbiotes gathering information for a hostile takeover. Then we can really blame the teenybopper generation. And their cougar parents for screwing them up.
Look at the members. Studying them closely, it's rather hard to discern any sense of...normalcy from them. The only explanation for their flagrant homosexual retardedness is that they can't possibly be from this galaxy. It becomes obvious that their nothing but shemales with a knack for stage make-up. The supposed "band leader" looks like a Rocky Horror Picture Show Reject (e.g. example 1.1)...

Ex. 1.1

...and the lead singer looks like the illegitimate love-child of Fat Bastard and Henry Ibsen (e.g. example 1.2). Just how are either of those appealing?

Ex. 1.2

I'm not going to comment on Jesus 1 and Jesus 2 besides the fact they should wear shirts differentiating them considering they look like some retarded Dr. Suess nightmare (e.g. example 1.3).

Ex. 1.3

They're more like a traveling freak show than they are an actual band. Once the shemale up top hits puberty and sprouts some facial hair, it can be the bearded lady.

Meanwhile, I'm going sit back and say, "I told you so."

I wouldn't be ranting about this but because it has to do with my work, I had to get my two cents it. Everybody and their mother's dead gay uncle think they can cash in on the comic book industry. Milo Ventimiglia has a sorry excuse for a horror book ("Berserker" or whatever its called), Tyrese Gibson ripped off Deathstroke and Deadpool ("Mayhem") and now the Ghost Whisperer's Jennifer Love Hewitt is pulling something out of her pretty parts. Hollywood is already mutilating the comic book and video game industry, but I guess they can't get enough their self-absorbed, paparazzi filled fame to leave things alone.

Tools.

TEKKEN: The Movie

2009-09-07T01:43:00.002-07:00

I don't play many video games, but I am a huge fan of fighting games. With that said, has anyone seen the line-up for this movie? It was supposed to release sometime this year, but that got pushed back--again. Not sure I'm entirely pleased with whom they have cast...then again, I'm not even sure who I would consider worthy to play any of those characters. It's not my favorite game--it was never as well-rounded or played out as some of its competition, such as Soul Caliber, and King of Fighters (obviously)--nevertheless, I wouldn't want to see it butchered like any of the other video game movies out there. Because, let's face it, Hollywood is just no good at emulating the deep foundation we all understand video games to have, fighting or otherwise.

I have to say, there are a few though that pique my interest and give me no hope that this film is a complete failure like the The Legend of Chun-Li and Dead of Alive. *shudder*
(The following total is equal out of grand total of 10)

Lateef Crowder who is most commonly known for his stunt work, plays Eddy Gordo, which suits him as he has background in martial arts and parkour. [Tekken Movie +2/Total = 2]

I could believe it...kinda.

Cung Lee--who also, amusingly enough, plays a part in the ill-fated Dragonball movie...I will remain commentless on that one--a world class fighter and world champion, has been cast to play Marshall Law, probably one of the most popular FG characters of all time. He seems to be well-suited for the roll, but we can only pray… [Tekken Movie +2/Total = 4]

Gary Ray Stevens is set to play Yoshimitsu... As you are aware from his name, he's not even asian. It has also been reported that Yoshimitsu will, in fact, be CG’d… let us pray that they do not follow through with this rumour. [Tekken Movie - 1/Total = 3]

Jon Foo as our emotionally irreparable hero.

Jon Foo is set to play Jin Kazama. Not a lot of information on him yet...so far though he is fairly young actor and wushu master. He played a part in The Protector, an amazing movie if you haven’t seen it, and I recall his scene to be one of the best choreographed fights in a movie to date. And he’s hot to boot =P [Tekken Movie +3/Total = 6] <---------------------So I'm shallow. Shut it.

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, a definitive veteran of cinema and an amazing actor to boot..if you count being the uncle in Johnny Tsunami amazing. He really knows how to put at punch to all of his characters and as the infamous Heihachi Mishima, we all know what kind punch that character packs. [Tekken Movie +2/Total = 8]

Chiaki Kuriyama as the ever popular and probably one of the happiest, most difficult characters to master and play well with, Ling Xiaoyu. I kicked many a butt and filled my trophy case with many a prepubescent boy's un-descended testicles in the days I used to play with her. Let's hope Miss Kuriyama can keep it that way. [Tekken Movie +0/Total = 8]

Problem: Steve Fox has hair and kicks major ass. Luke Goss?
Not so much...

Luke Goss as Steve Fox. Well, he certainly looks the part...but we all know how "looking" isn't the same as acting. Prime example: Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke.... Then again, most of the male population watching that movie couldn't shut their jaw and wipe up their drool enough to make any sort of criticism... and after seeing Goss as Prince Nuada in Hellboy II, I might just be persuaded to think the same thing. Hrm... [Tekken Movie +2/Total = 10]

Nathan Jones as Craig Marduk, well, alright he's big (6' 11"!), but he was pro-wrestler, for Christ’s sake... And I'm sure we all know how well they turn out to be actor's in video game movies (Can anyone say The Rock in Doom? I've never contemplated gouging my eyes out before seeing that). [Tekken Movie -1/Total = 9]

Gary Daniels is set to play the big man himself, Brian Fury, but isn't anyone I've ever heard of and neither are any of his movies, but who knows. I'll check a few out and save my judgment for later. On the flip-side, the man has the body of Greek God.... Hell, he's already growing on me =X [Tekken Movie +0/Total = 9]

Marian Zapico and Candice Nel are slated to play the ever-feuding sisters Anna and Nina Williams. They haven’t been in many movies so their acting and other abilities are unknown. That and they've never really added a substantial numbers of elements to the plot. [Tekken Movie +0/Total = 9]

Darrin Dewitt Henson, Kelly Overton, and Roger “Matador” Huerta have all been cast as Raven, Christie, and Miguel—some of the more recently created characters. A bit disappointing since it’s obvious the writers decided not to include some of the game’s more distinguished characters. [Tekken Movie -3/Total = 6]

Would you trust this man with a baby?

Dwight H. Little has been given the grace of directing the live-action film, with titles such as the likes of Halloween 4, Free Willy 2 and Anaconda: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid amongst a list with the majority consisting of unknowns. The only notable direction he’s been given are a few episodes of Prison Break, Bones, and 24. Great. [Tekken Movie -2/Total = 4]

Alan McElroy and Michael Colleary have been given the pen to write the script. Between the two of them, they’ve come up with movies like The Marine, Firehouse Dog, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, Wrong Turn, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, Wrong Turn 3, and Spawn. Then again, McEloy did write the script for Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers which was then directed by Little. Well, as I always say: “Crap begets crap.” [Tekken Movie -2/Total = 2]

Well, with the total amounting up to a measly 2 of 10 and those three lined up to be the provisional “Gods” of our beloved Tekken, we can all safely assumed that this will be no better than a bad Three Stooges skit--or another Lindsay Lohan movie. Let's hope that those last two points are earned solely from the action sequences and cinematography alone, otherwise there's no point in even releasing this quickly mutating piece of garbage in theaters for the general public to view.

While they’ve been true to the main characters of the game, I don’t think they took into account that actual popularity of said characters or their history in the games. In fact, the writer’s have chosen to omit some of the game’s most popular characters, such as Paul Phoenix, Lee Chaolan, and—don’t piss yourself—Lei Wulong. Just who in God’s name do they think they are? Instead, they included character of the more recent editions, such as Christie and Kara.

Can I just ask, “Who?”

Really, though. How dare they… Anyone who is a video game fan can clearly recall the most well-known and most commonly played characters. But I came to the conclusion a long time ago that any studio producing a movie based on anything with a large geek fanbase doesn’t take the time to actually consult said fanbase and do everything right. Suffice to say, my hopes aren’t very high for this movie. Not because they omitted some of the best playable characters; not because it’s obvious the director has no credible ability to even handle a movie of such standing and reverence; not because the script-writer’s couldn’t write their way out of a paper bag… No, I have no hope for this soon to be dubbed Piece-of-Crap for one reason, and one damn reason only:

Where the f*ck is HwoRang?

You know where he is? Right here: played by Hyun-kyoon Lee, who by all accounts, completely slips my mind, as does the rest of the cast. Check out the movie page on imdb.com and you'll see that half the cast adds up to a big fat waste of a movie budget.

Hell, these kids would do a better job making a movie than Little.

Oh, the time some people have on their hands.

The Comic Book Chick

Holiday Gift Guide - Gifts under $50!

For All Batman Fans!Fits All Belts that are 1.5 inches Wide!Measures 4.5" X 3"Two Piece Durable Metal Construction!

Price: $8.95Buy it Here.

Sizes: 2T, 3T, 4T

Price: $10.00Buy It Here.

Perfect if you want to get your child something practical yet fun. Made of 100% polyester, it's machine-washable and adorable.

By WB

Price: $19.99Buy It Here.

Spider-Man® Die Cast StatuePrice: $44.99 $40.49Buy It Here.

Price: $55.99 $44.99Buy It Here.

Product Details Pub. Date: October 2009ISBN: 0762436638

Price: $49.95Buy It Here.

***And look for me this Friday as a guest on "I Have Issues." I've giving you a few short, easy-to-come-by gifts. Thanks!!!***

-TCBC

Comics' own Secret Invasion: Women - Part One

The Pick - November 24th

The Pick - November 17th

Stripper Poles

Bum City

Where Did I Go?

I Have Issues - New Show

The Pick - October 27th

The Ninja of Ninja Movies

The Pick - October 20th

The Pick - Postponed

Poison Ivy Costume - Part One

The Pick - October 6th

Men, this COULD be you.

Batman doesn't get sick. So why am I?

The Pick - September 29th

BATMAN BY FRANK QUITELY!!

The Pick - September 22nd

Megan Fox: What's the big deal?

The Pick - September 15th

Actor's playing Superheroes: What makes them 'super'?

The Pick - September 9th

The First Post Regarding "Gay Out Boy"

TEKKEN: The Movie

For All Batman Fans!
Fits All Belts that are 1.5 inches Wide!
Measures 4.5" X 3"
Two Piece Durable Metal Construction!

Price: $8.95
Buy it Here.

Price: $10.00
Buy It Here.

Price: $19.99
Buy It Here.

Spider-Man® Die Cast Statue

Price: $44.99 $40.49
Buy It Here.

Price: $55.99 $44.99
Buy It Here.

Product Details
Pub. Date: October 2009
ISBN: 0762436638

Price: $49.95
Buy It Here.

And look for me this Friday as a guest on "I Have Issues." I've giving you a few short, easy-to-come-by gifts. Thanks!!!